Just Keep Running North
by Scarlet Tears
Summary: You think you know me. You probably know what everyone thinks about me, that I'm a traitor, that I don't deserve to live. Well, this is the truth, the story behind me, Peter Pettigrew.


Just Keep Running North No one really knows what happened. No one really cared. To them, I was a traitor, a betrayer of the most important people in my life. But no, I wouldn't hand everything in my life away, especially not them. You might be one of those people who think that, maybe not, maybe if you knew the story you might understand.   
  
I sat next to them at their house. They wouldn't tell me why they had wanted to see me, not even a hint. I had expected to see them both pale, with You-Know-Who was after them and all, but they surprised me, both smiling, even little Harry was happy. Harry, the little boy brought happiness to anyone he knew, and even some he didn't. We talked for a while, I suppose to get the feel of the situation, I should take you back there, back to the night that forever changed my life, and forever changed the world.   
  
(A.N. I don't know what night the Potter's were killed, so we'll just say it was the night before)   
  
I sat there, Harry in my lap, James sitting comfortably on the other side of the room, and Lily in the kitchen.   
  
I'd love to have a life like this, I thought, I'd love it the entire world had a life like this, actually.   
  
We had been talking for a while. Then Lily came in with Harry's bottle, I handed her the little boy. Then, as she sat down she asked me:   
  
"Peter, do you know the Fidlius Charm?"   
  
"Sure, why?   
  
"Dumbledore has suggested we use it, you know, with You-Know-Who after us." James said to me. I was very confused.   
  
"Need to know were Sirius is?" I asked. No, they wouldn't think of you to be their Secret Keeper, they need to know where Sirius is, or maybe Remus, I thought   
  
"No, we'd like to know if you would be our Secret Keeper"   
  
"Why not Sirius, or Remus?"   
  
"Sirius had declined as he is the obvious choice, and Remus has said it would be to risky as he could be captured while he is transformed and forced to tell them."   
  
So it was settled, I was the Secret Keeper to the three most important people in my life. The next day the Charm was performed. I thought I would be safe, as You-Know-Who would not think of me. How wrong I was.   
  
There was a light knock at my door the night after I had accepted the Secret Keeper position. Probably just Sirius come to check on me, I thought. I opened the door a crack. There in front of me was none other than Serverus Snape.   
  
"What do you want?" I asked   
  
"Let me in and I'll tell you," he said, looking coolly at me. I shivered, He always had creeped me out a bit. I reluctant opened the door. He stepped in.   
  
"Listen, I don't know how, but Voldemort knows you're the Secret Keeper for the Potters. They're coming here, go, don't take anything. Go into hiding, somewhere near Hogwarts. I'll alert you when it's okay to come out" he said, rushing me to get ready. There was another knock at my door, Snape palled.   
  
"Out the back window, I'm coming with you, they can't know I helped you escape"   
  
"Why are you helping me?"   
  
"No time for questions, just go!" he said, practically shoving me out the window into the storm. Just as we ran into the night, Sirius opened the door to my house, no Death Eater, just Sirius come by to check on me.   
  
"Listen, keep running north" Snape said, pointing the way. " Just keep that way, you'll reach Hogwarts eventually, I'll tell Dumbldore to expect you, don't talk to anyone you don't know, you don't know who to trust nowadays." He said, and with that, he disappeared into the dreary night. I started running north, not knowing how long I kept going, barely feeling the rain that soaked me to the bone.   
  
"Where you goin', rat," a voice said from behind me. I turned around to see a dark hooded figure with his wand raised, even with my chest.   
  
"I suggest you come with me," he said. You didn't have to be a genius to figure out where I was being taken. I remember him binding and gagging me, then apparating, a lastly, being looked in the eye by the terrifying face of Lord Voldemort.   
  
"So, we have a guest tonight, hello Peter, I understand you have some information for me?" he said, smirking. I whimpered. I wasn't the brave type of person that James and Sirius were. I may not have been brave, but I had sense, sense enough to stay quiet.  
  
Voldemort's smile faded. He walked over to me and used his wand to tip my face so he could look at me.   
  
"Well well, the little rat's trying to be brave. Thinking of saving your friends, you dyeing instead? Well I have news for you; we don't have to have your cooperation to get the information we want. Imperio."  
  
I kept thinking to myself I will not tell them were they are, but after Voldemort said that last word, I felt like there were no problems in the world or in my life, then a voice in my head said:  
  
Tell us where the Potters are   
  
I tried to fight it, I really did, but the next thing I knew, I was telling Lord Voldemort everything.   
  
* * * * * *   
  
*Dream/flashback*   
  
I sat in the Gryfindor common room. The marauders were in their seventh and final year.   
  
"Hey, guys, what'd you think you would do if Voldemort captured ya, and tried to make you tell him something." Remus asked. James snorted, Sirius gave him a confused look, and I had to smile. Remus came up with some pretty strange ideas.   
  
"Doesn't that make for a pleasant conversation, hey, what would you do if some Waco was trying to kill you for some info. Honestly Moony, why in the world would you ask us that?" Sirius said, shaking his head.  
  
"I don't know, you guys aren't suggesting anything to talk about, and I was just tired of no one saying anything." he replied, shrugging.   
  
"Fine, I'd tell him he's a freak of nature, and he might as well kill me, cause I'm not sure I could live after seeing his ugly face." Sirius said, and by the look on his face, he was dead Sirius. "Now, you two, what would you do?" he said; now turning to James and me. He wasn't happy about having nothing else to talk about, evil weirdoes weren't his favorite subject, unless, of course it had something to do with torturing Snape or Malfoy in some way.  
  
"Don't know. Probably just piss him off by not telling him squat. Then say really rude things to him right before he killed me. Couldn't die without pranking him in some way  
  
too." James said to us, smiling. I could just imagine Voldemort with bright pink hair, and if he didn't have hair, frilly bright pink robes.   
  
"Hello, Peter, you there?" Remus said to me, breaking through to me through my deep thoughts. He saw he had my attention, he asked me what I would do. I shrugged.   
  
"Probably just keep my mouth shut, and try to get away some how" I said, causing the three of them to howl with laughter.   
  
"You stand up to one of the most powerful wizards of our time. I'd love to see that, Wormtail" James said between his bursts of laughter.   
  
"Yeah, that is pretty funny" I said halfheartedly. They really think that I'm so weak and cowardly that I couldn't keep my mouth shut, wow, that makes me feel loved, I thought angrily.   
  
*End dream/flashback*   
  
I woke up the next morning in my house. What Happened last night, I thought. I couldn't remember a thing. It came to me slowly. James, Lily, killed by Voldemort, betrayed by  
  
Sirius. Yes, that was it. I now know it wasn't, I had betrayed them, and if you haven't guessed, my memory had been changed by Voldemort. How do I know this? Dumbledore, he broke the memory charm. I remember clearly the events that were just described to you. Well, now that that's cleared up, back to what happened the next day.   
  
* * * * *   
  
I didn't know what came over me later that day, all I knew was that I wanted to hurt Sirius, the man that had taken to of my two friends away. I knew the places the person I had thought to be my friend might be. After searching the whole day, I finally saw him. He was walking around in a daze, much like me. I followed him, unknowingly. Then he turned around, saw me, and started running.   
  
Run all you want traitor, I thought, I will get you.   
  
Sure enough I did. In a dead end street in a muggle village, just north of my house.  
  
"How could you Sirius, Lily, James, Didn't they mean anything to you?" I shouted at him, tears running down my face.   
  
You may think I'm even more of a wimp, but how would you react to two of your friends being killed, and thinking that someone you had trusted be the person responsible.   
  
The whole street turned to look at us. Sirius looked at me like I was crazy, then he raised his wand.   
  
They're after you, they're all after you, I thought. Then you'll just have to let them think you're dead. I cut off my finger; Let them think I'm dead, then.   
  
I transformed, just before Sirius tried to perform the Avada Kedavara curse, and instead of me, he got the whole street instead. I slipped down into the sewer, a common street rat.   
  
Just Keep Running North, Just Keep Running North, the words of Snape echoed in my head. That was it. Get to Dumbledore, and tell him what Sirius had done. I was doing exactly that when I ended up in a wizarding Household, the Weasly's, as you probably guessed.   
  
* * * * * *   
  
Now you know what happened in my past you shall be told the story of then to now. In the third year of the youngest Weasly boy's time at Hogwarts I received some startling news, the traitor was on the lose. And sure enough, in the final month of the year, he found me. I would have died that night if not for Harry. Harry, Harry, you are truly your father's son. It's a shame there is only one way to repay you for my terrible mistake. I escaped that night with this daring plan. The plan that is the only way to repay all those I have failed. I went to Voldemort, saying I wished to help him to power again. Then a year after this goal of his was achieved, and all his servants from Azkaban back to his side, Dumbledore captured me. Thanks to his kindness, he broke the memory charm, and listened to the true story, and he listened to my plan. He agreed, giving me my freedom to go through with my plan. I returned once more to Voldemort, you are now all caught up, this is now, and this is my plan in action.  
  
I sit in front of my mirror in the Death Eater Camp. I'm ill looking, thin, not much has changed since Harry's forth year. Harry, this is for you, this is for your parents, and this is for me. I pick up a silver blade, running my finger along its sharp edge.  
  
Funny how someone that they thought to be a betrayer of his friends, can turn the tables on his enemies, I thought.   
  
"Wormtail, Lord Voldemort has called a meeting" soft drawl calls. Malfoy. I tuck the dagger in my pocket, leaving my hand in my pocket as well, still grasping the hilt. A silver dagger, a strong weapon that can kill those even close to immortality. I enter the center of the camp, I see all the Death Eaters. And in the center, I see Voldemort, and three other figures in the center of the ring as well. Sirius, Remus, and Harry.   
  
"Peter, so nice of you to join us. Some of my followers believe that you share a bond with this boy" he said to me, motioning towards Harry. "Why don't you put those rumors to rest, by killing him." he beckoned me forward.   
  
In ten seconds it will all be over, one swift movement and your errors will be fixed. In front of all of your friends, you'll be forgiven, in a simple ten seconds. They'll realize the truth. Ten seconds that will change the world. Thoughts like these kept running through my mind.   
  
Remus looked at me with eyes pleading more that anything. Sirius's glare was one of pure hate. Harry looked as if he had already accepted his fate.   
  
"Certainly, my Lord" the last time I say that, and the last time he'll here it.   
  
I joined him in the center of the ring, and as I pulled out my wand he spoke to his Death Eaters.   
  
"My followers, You all know how long I have wished to kill this boy, this boy, Harry Potter. But, I know that Peter here is supposed to have a life debt to him, so what better to than have him declare his support for me by killing the boy who lived, Peter"   
  
All eyes are on me now, all eyes expecting me to do this task laid before me. My eyes meet Remus's. He stares back at me. He understands, he's always understood me. Now I meet Sirius's eyes. They plead with me not to do this, he is confused, confused about my hesitation to kill Harry. And finally my eyes meet Harry's. James stares back at me. James, I'll be seeing you soon, you to Lily. Harry's eyes search mine. He too is confused. You will all understand in a few moments.   
  
Now me eyes meet Voldemort's. My Lord, yeah right. I grasp the Dagger in my pocket and face him.   
  
"May I do the honors?" I ask. He smiles, more like a smirk. I smile back. I nod quickly to Remus, so quick, no one else sees. I pull the dragger from my pocket. Running towards Voldemort, I see his confusion. Then it is too late. The silver dagger cuts through his chest till it pierces him through his cold, black heart. No longer silver, I pull the blade out of the dyeing man. I rush over towards my captured friends. Cutting them all free, they all stand up. The Death Eaters are confused, trying to figure out what has happened. Remus embraces me like a brother, Sirius too as he sputters out an apology. I look down at Harry. He's still confused about why, but he knows exactly what I did as he says to me:   
  
"I see now why my father had you as a friend, you are truly a wonderful person, Peter." I smile. There were no other words I would like to have heard more at that moment   
  
"Go, Keep running north, that's the way to Hogwarts. They will be after you in a moment" They go. It starts raining, like the night Lily and James died. I see a Death Eater, Malfoy, turn around and face me. He says only two words; I feel a rush, see a flash of green light, the nothing. I'm in a land of swirling white fog. There's a light to the north.   
  
Just keep running north.   
  
I do. I finally pass the white fog to see two people standing in front of me. Lily. James. I look at the ground.   
  
I don't deserve to know them, I don't deserve their friendship, I'm too terrible a person, Too wimpy, I'm not even brave enough to try to save my friends, I thought, though really I knew that I had tried to save them.   
  
I feel an arm drape around my shoulders, then I hear James say to me:  
  
"Hello Peter, I don't think that there was any one that deserved a hero's death more than you" I look up at him. There was no sign of anger or sadness in his face, just a smile on his lips, and his stormy gray eyes twinkling down at me.   
  
Heaven. Heaven isn't complete just yet. Heaven will be complete when Father and Son are reunited, and the Marauders are all friends again. But for now, Heaven is all right, for I know I died a hero, and I died a friend to Sirius and Remus, but most importantly, when I died, James was happy to see me, James wasn't mad, nor did he hold a grudge for my terrible mistake, he was just happy to see me, and just glad to have me as a friend, for, as he said, the words of his son were absolutely right.   
  
Heaven knows no faults,   
  
Heavens knows no betrayal,   
  
Heaven knows no guilt, sorrow, or loneliness,   
  
It knows only friendship, forgiveness, happiness, and Loyalty,   
  
So if you are ever confused or lost,   
  
Just keep running North.   
  
End   
  
Moral: Just keep running north, or just keep heading for your goals. Hogwarts was north, Hogwarts was safety for Peter, and he kept heading towards safety. Heaven was north as were James and Lily, and they were goals that he wanted to reach, so he kept heading towards heaven and friends. So if you ever are confused keep heading for your goals. Peter did. 


End file.
